Don’t get me wrong, kids are adorable and I love them to death and most of the time I totally love their little personalities. But during serious moments they can sure be a distraction. I heard of a wedding not too long ago where the ring bearer (only about 2 or 3 at the time) sat down on the stairs at the front, sighing loudly and singing songs to himself, only to be followed by yelling out into the crowd to people he knew, and screaming EWWWWWW when bride and groom kissed. Sure, it gets laughs out of the audience, but it totally distracts from the wedding. Face it, although the child can be absolutely adorable, there is no telling what they’ll turn into once they stand up in front of everyone at your wedding ceremony. So, here are some qualities to look for when choosing your flower girl and your ring bearer.
Shyness
Most likely, the most common problem you will be facing with having children in your wedding is a sudden bout of shyness. The child may be outgoing and in front of people all the time, but put them in a serious ceremony in front of everyone staring, and some will cry, run or refuse to walk down the aisle at all. One wedding I was in, the ring bearer got cold feet at the last moment, and his parents (and of course the bride!) permitted him to walk down the aisle with a teddy bear for comfort. Not the ideal situation, but it still works.
Class Clown
The class clown type of child sees a crowd and immediately wants to make them laugh. It’s one thing for them to be charming and cute walking down the aisle, but its another thing completely for them to ‘entertain’ the audience during your wedding ceremony.
The Adventurer
Thank goodness, I’ve only seen this one happen once, and I’ve been to a lot of weddings. Put a child in a new environment, or even in a location with which they are familiar, and they will want to explore, sometimes at the worse possible moments. Walking out into the audience, trying to climb behind the bridesmaids to get onto the platform with the bride and groom, etc.
How to Solve the Problem
Most parents will work with their children prior to the ceremony and tell them what is expected of them during the ceremony, and then take a seat close to the front and keep eye contact with their kids throughout the event. What you can do, is make sure that the kids aren’t bored and already in the mood to cause trouble. Put together a small kit with coloring books and other small toys so that they are occupied. Assign a bridesmaid to keep watch over them during the ceremony, even if it means whispering for them to stop picking their nose.
The choice of having a ring bearer and a flower girl are totally up to you, although they do make a charming addition to your wedding party. Personally, I chose not to have any in my wedding because there were so many to choose from, and I was close to all of their parents, so I found it easier just not to include them to keep from causing any resentment or hurt feelings.
Tags: bridesmaid, flower girl, ring bearer, Wedding Ceremony
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