Wedding Help

By Minnie, a guest author and an editor at Modern Wedding Advice

There are many different venues to consider when planning your wedding budget. Starting the process can really feel overwhelming. The big ticket items to keep in mind when you are outlining your budget are your venues, food, entertainment, photography, attire, and decorations. Here are some ideas on where to start, and the major things to consider so that you can come up with a wedding budget that will fit with the idea you have for your wedding.

First, you will need a rough outline- What do you already have to spend? What is your projected income from now until the wedding? How much of that can you safely allot to wedding expenses? Are there things you spend money on now that you could cut back on, such as dinners out, to save more for the wedding? Will other people be helping you financially? How much can they give, and when?  Will they be giving you money to use as you see fit, or would they be more comfortable doing something along the lines of paying your photographer directly?  The more answers you can at least guess at for these questions, the easier your outline will be.  Don’t worry about exact numbers, and the fine-tuning will come later, but it helps to know your ballpark, whether you’ll be working with $2,000 or with $15,000.  Many bills won’t need to be paid until right before the wedding, but most expenses will involve a down payment at the time you book a service.

Venue- Are you having a ceremony and reception in the same place? This can cut down on costs.  If you plan to have them at separate sites, factor in the cost of each.  If you are getting married in your house of worship, find out how much the fee is for the facility, for the officiant, the musicians, and any other fees involved.  For reception sites, call around and visit as many places as you can.  When you find some that you like, sit down and ask for an estimate.  Find out everything that is included in that estimate, and get it in writing.  Some places will charge you just for the space, and everything else is extra.  Other places charge per person for everything from the space itself to the food, service, even a wedding coordinator. There may be bar minimums included, depending on what bar service you’re including.  Gratuities may or may not be included, make sure you ask.

Food- This item can affect your budget quite a bit depending on what you choose. It often costs more to offer a choice of entrees.  A simple chicken dish will probably cost less than filet mignon.  Keep your own taste and budget in mind, and if you’re using an independent caterer, shop around. Find out whether any beverages are included.  Would you like to do an open bar, cash bar, or no alcohol?  Don’t forget your wedding cake.  Find out if there is a “cutting fee” per slice at your reception site.

Entertainment- Your DJ or bandleader will be a driving force of the party energy.  Find someone you feel matches the energy you want at your wedding.

Photography- Photography can be a big chunk of your budget.  Your wedding photos will capture this day forever, so you want to make sure you love them. A good wedding photographer will know what angles, lighting, moments are important.  Do you want a basic package and a simple album, or do you want to capture every last detail? Find someone who can give you what you’re looking for.  Do you want a videographer?  This can be expensive, and feelings vary on how important this is.  Some couples wouldn’t dream of not having a wedding video, while others can’t see spending the money.

Attire- Everyone imagines the wedding gown.  This is indeed the most expensive article of clothing you are ever likely to buy.  Is it important to you to have a designer label, or do you want to shop around until you find the right dress in your budget, no matter how long it takes?  Is wearing your Mom’s dress an option?  Expenses in addition to the dress itself include alterations, which can cost up to several hundred dollars, undergarments, veil, shoes, jewelry, etc.  The groom needs to get dressed, too- don’t forget to budget for the tux.  If you order all the tuxes for the wedding party from the same place, often times the groom’s tux rental will be free. Certainly don’t forget to budget for the wedding rings!  Other incidentals include hair and makeup the day of the wedding for the bride, and bridesmaids if this is in your budget, and boutonnieres or corsages for the bridal party, parents, and grandparents.

Decorations- If you’re really unsure of how much money you will have to spend, this is an easy place to give a minimal spot on your rough budget, then add to later.  You can use very simple, in-season flowers, non-floral centerpieces, candles, and ribbons to give a simply elegant feel to your wedding, or you can go all out and deck the hall in orchids and lillies. Linens may need to be included in this part of your budget, depending on whether or not your caterer will provide them.  Chair covers are frequently an item that have an individual fee.  Simple white tablecloths and napkins are generally more inexpensive than upgraded fancy linens.

Other expenses to budget for: Transportation- will you borrow a friend’s car, or will you hire a limo or other kind of transportation for the whole bridal party? Invitations- save the date cards, invitations and response cards, wedding programs, all need to be printed.  Favors for your guests and gifts for the bridal party and each other.  Gratuities for your various vendors.  There will probably be some unforeseen expense, but the more planning you do, the more you can minimize that risk.  Good luck, and congratulations.

Tags: creating a wedding budget, Wedding Budget, Wedding Planning

I’ve talked about this in several of my other articles, but it seems that wedding costs are out of control these days. Everything with wedding attached to the front seems to cost twice what it would otherwise. If you’ve started getting quotes from wedding vendors, then you know what I’m talking about. Not only that, but when you’re doing your wedding planning, it seems as though the wedding costs are never going to end. It seems different wedding costs keep springing up all over the place, which can make it extremely difficult to keep up with your wedding budget. I remember it all too well.  The sad thing is, many couples pay the premium because it’s for their wedding, and figure it’s a special occasion.  This is a bad way to look at it. Yes, you are going to get married, but that doesn’t give wedding vendors the right to take advantage of you. Here are some great ways to keep your wedding costs under control.

Make a List - and Check it Twice

Maybe at the risk of sounding like Santa here, I’ll make a point that will stick. Nearly all of the wedding costs you will be looking at are based off of the number of people on your guest list.  Inviting your best friend from kindergarten whom you haven’t seen in ten years really isn’t necessary, and choices like that will drive up your wedding costs. Make a comprehensive list of close friends and family that you want to invite to the wedding, and send out RSVP cards. If they don’t send the RSVP card back, it doesn’t hurt to give them a call and ask. You’d be surprised how many wedding costs are associated with the number of guests you are inviting. Just for starters, your wedding invitations, catering, wedding cake, wedding favors, even reception hall and renting tables and chairs, and programs are different wedding costs associated with your guest list. And that is just off the top of my head.

Cut Out Unnecessary Expenses

This is where a lot of brides stumble when it comes to dealing with wedding costs. Figuring their wedding is a one time occasion and celebration will cause some brides to pay much more than they need to. If you are on a tight budget, there are a lot of perks and luxuries that you can rule out. If your reception hall has centerpieces that you can use for the tables at little or no cost, then consider using them. Buying flower arrangements for 25 tables adds up quickly. Opt out of the open bar, and let your guests either buy their own drinks or only serve water and iced tea. There is no need to pay the extra wedding costs for some of the perks that people do.

I can’t stress just how important it is to stay within your wedding budget. I know that wedding costs can be overwhelming at times, and that you want to have a beautiful wedding day, I really do. Looking for ways to cut wedding costs can be a lot of work, but it will be worth it in the end. Just be reasonable with yourself and your wedding budget. There is no reason to put yourselves into debt from wedding costs that you will have to deal with after you get back.

Tags: Wedding Budget, wedding costs, wedding vendors

Ladies, let me give you a little piece of advice here when it comes to picking out a wedding tux for your husband to be. Unless you have one of the rare guys who is a style whiz (and by whiz I mean is able to pick out a stylish looking wedding tux, AND match the vests and ties to your bridesmaids), then you’ll want to go with him to pick out a wedding tux. It’s not that the help in the tuxedo rental shops aren’t able to help you out - they’re pretty good at explaining available options.  It’s that if you trust your guy to go in and pick out a wedding tux by himself without any pictures or instructions about what to choose, then you could be in for a huge surprise.  I didn’t know what to expect when we went to pick out my husband’s wedding tux. I was lucky that I came somewhat prepared, but it still took us a long time to find a wedding tux my husband was comfortable wearing, along with a color combination of vests and ties that would match our bridesmaids. So, here is a list of things you need to consider before going in to choose the tuxedos for your wedding.

Choosing a Wedding Tux Style

While there aren’t nearly as many styles for a tuxedo as there are for a wedding dress, there are still quite a few styles that you’ll need to choose from. First of all you’ll want to choose a color tuxedo, like if you want your groom in a white or a black tuxedo. Then, you’ll need to choose a style of jacket - and there quite a few to choose from. You have single or double breasted, a cutaway jacket, tails, and many more depending on the tuxedo rental shop you use.  You’ll also have to choose the shoes your groom and groomsmen will wear, along with the kind of shirt, collar and lapels.

Choosing Wedding Tux Colors

Now, the grooms wedding tux is typically black with a white tie or white vest (or white tuxedo with white tie and vest), with the groomsmen wearing matching tuxes, but with a colored vest and tie. You’ll have a lot of colors and pattern choices when you’re picking these out, and it really helps to have a swatch of fabric from the bridesmaid dresses so that you can be sure you’re not getting something that clashes. My husband wore a white vest and tie with his wedding tux, and the groomsmen wore a light gray vest and tie. It set them apart from the groom, and they didn’t clash with the bridesmaids.

Choosing Who Will Wear a Tux 

When you go to pick out your wedding tux, the salesman in the shop will try to convince that everyone involved in your wedding in anyway should be wearing a tux. I can understand that to a point - they are going to be in the wedding pictures and it’s nice if they look formal as well.  But on the other hand, I didn’t see a need to ask my pastor and speakers, as well as the ushers to rent a tuxedo. I did ask my Dad to wear one, and that was because he was walking me down the aisle. Just remember that the salesman is trying his best to make his company money, so be sure to think about what you want!

Picking out tuxedos for the wedding is an aspect of the wedding that really doesn’t take too long to complete. Really, my husband and I finished it in about an hour and a half…and we took our time and asked a lot of questions. So research it a little bit to find out what kind of wedding tux you want, and you’ll save yourself a lot of time getting this portion of your wedding planning done.

Tags: Tuxedos, wedding tux, wedding tuxedo

One tradition that is another major part of many different kinds of wedding ceremonies is the use of unity candles.  However, don’t let anyone fool you, the tradition of using unity candles does not date back hundreds of years, neither is it bad luck if you choose not to use a unity candle in your wedding ceremony. Typically found in Christian weddings, unity candles have only been showing up during the past few decades, not nearly as long as some of the other wedding traditions out there, such as a white wedding dress or using wedding rings. Unity candles can be distinguished by a large candle in the middle, and two thinner candles (called tapers) on either end. If you like the idea of using a unity candle, and are looking for ways to incorporate them into your wedding ceremony, then here are some of the main ways that couples use them.

Parents Lighting the Tapers

One way that many couples choose to do their unity candle is to have their parents light the tapers during the processional. Once they are escorted down the aisle, the mothers of the bride and groom  walk up to the altar and light a taper candle in honor of their son or daughter before taking their seat. The tapers stay lit throughout the ceremony, until the bride and groom light their unity candle. The bride and groom light their unity candle, each taking the taper that their mother lit, and together they light the larger candle in the middle.

Having the Tapers Already Lit

This is the way that my husband and I choose to do our unity candle. Instead of having our mothers come up and light the candles,  we had them lit before the service started. They stayed lit throughout the whole service, and when we lit the candle, it was a symbolism of two individuals becoming one in Christ. The only problem with this is that the tapers ended up staying lit for a long time, and some of the ribbons and decorations on the tapers actually ended up getting a little bit burnt.

Other Family Members Lighting the Tapers

Since there is no set way to do unity candles, you can really get creative with it. If you’ve been married before, you can have your children light the tapers on your unity candle, or perhaps have your grandparents light the unity candle along with your mother. Or perhaps you have a particular uncle or aunt you are particularly close to, any one of these people can light the tapers.

Unity Candle Alternatives

If unity candles aren’t really your cup of tea, then there are some great alternatives to unity candles that you can do.  A sand ceremony is getting pretty popular, with couples using different colors of sand and pouring them into a vase that they can keep as a decoration later.  There are also rose ceremonies, water ceremonies, and much more.

Unity candles are a great visual example of the idea of marriage. Two individuals becoming one through marriage, with different personalities, strengths and weaknesses. If you have any comments on unity candles, be sure to write in and let me know.

Tags: sand ceremony, unity candle, unity candles, Wedding Ceremony, Wedding Traditions

One way that many couples choose to decorate their wedding ceremony is through the use of a wedding arch. I’m sure we’ve all seen pictures of wedding arches adorned with flowers and greenery, or tulle and lights, and you know that the effect that the wedding arch has on the wedding ceremony.  Wedding arches can be simple and romantic, or beautiful and elegant depending on the kind of decorations you use and the kind of wedding ceremony that you want to have. Plus, wedding arches can be rented rather cheaply and can be an inexpensive way to add decoration to your wedding ceremony without breaking the budget. Wedding arches look great in nearly every kind of wedding ceremony, whether you are planning a beach wedding, an outdoor wedding as well as church weddings. Here are some different ways to decorate wedding arches to help complete  your wedding look as well as creating a great wedding ceremony decoration.

Decorate Your Wedding Arch Using Tulle

Tulle is one of the best wedding decorations around. You can buy it at any fabric store for about a dollar a yard, and weave it in and out of your wedding arch to help create the look you are wanting.  For a more dramatic look, buy some fake greenery or flowers from a craft store and arrange them around the tulle. Many Christmas weddings using wedding arches use tulle and white Christmas lights for a soft glow. This is a great way to decorate your wedding arch without having to spend a lot of money.

Decorate Your Wedding Arch Using Flowers 

Another way that many brides decorate their wedding arches is to adorn them with real fragrant flowers. Many people choose to use their florist for this, though the end result can cost you a lot of money. If you’re any good at doing stuff like that by yourself (which I am not), then order the flowers yourself and decorate your own arch. Though you might want to try it with some silk flowers before trying to work with real ones so that you can get a feel for what you’re doing before it’s time for the real thing.

Decorate a Part of your Wedding Arch 

Another great way to save some cash and still have a beautiful wedding arch is to only decorate the top of your arch - perhaps by weaving a few branches or flowers into the top. This is a simple look that can be really beautiful, your wedding florist should be able to help with that.

Wedding arches can be a beautiful addition to your wedding. They’re not for every wedding though, so be sure it fits with your wedding ceremony location before you plunk down the money for one.

Tags: decorating wedding arches, wedding arch, wedding arches