When I was choosing the bridesmaids for my bridal party, I didn’t have very much of a problem at all, not like some people have anyway. My husband has 3 sisters, I have one and I also had a very good friend from church that I wanted to be a part of the wedding as well. Luckily enough, my husband had a group of 5 men who were cousins and brothers that he wanted to be in the wedding and so our numbers matched perfectly. Not everyone is that lucky though when they are looking at their friends and family to be a part of their bridal party. One big problem that many brides face today is that they have a dozen or more good friends and/or sisters who would like to be a part of your bridal party. This could be a big problem, seeing as you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. So what do you do anyway? You may be asking yourself some of the following questions: How many bridesmaids is too many? How many bridesmaids should I have? Only you can answer that question, but here are some tips to help you decide.
Consider the Ceremony Location
A great way to determine how many bridesmaids you should have is to look at your ceremony location. Sit back and look at it carefully, and be honest with yourself about how many bridesmaids and groomsmen will even fit. For example, our church is very small, and I knew that anything over 5 bridesmaids would look cramped and someone would have to be standing next to the piano player to make it work. Not the best idea. Now, if you are getting married in a large church, or outside, then space really isn’t an issue and you can look at having more bridesmaids in your bridal party.
Consider the Groomsmen
Before you go and ask a dozen of your closest friends to be bridesmaids, talk to your fiance and make sure that he has enough men he wants to be groomsmen to match the number of bridesmaids that you have. While the numbers do not have to match exactly for it to work, it will definitely look odd if you have a dozen bridesmaids and your groom only has 5 groomsmen. For my sister’s wedding, she had one less groomsmen for the bridesmaids, and one of the groomsmen escorted two of the bridesmaids on the way out. It worked out fine, but it wasn’t the way she had planned it, one of the groomsmen just didn’t show up to the wedding.
Consider your Friends
Not all of your dozen friends need to be bridesmaids. Consider your friends carefully and choose the friends who will be there for you on your wedding day, who will help to make your day easier versus the friends who are a little more high maintenance. There are plenty of things your friends can do who are not bridesmaids, such as helping plan the wedding, planning bridal showers, taking care of the guest book, cutting the cake, and much more.
I know how hard it is to choose between your friends when it comes to choosing your bridesmaids, and how many that you will have. Just be honest with yourself and the character of your different friends. You may hurt some feelings, but if they are true friends then they will still stand by you in your wedding, and be happy for you. If you need any further help with this topic, or have any additional advice, please comment and let me know!
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December 12th, 2007 at 5:33 pm
I just recently got engaged, and oddly enough before my fiancé asked me I was talking about it with a friend that I consider a close friend. This is the thing we were close friends in high school but after we graduated we lost touch till about almost a year ago. Now we talk everyday over the msn messenger, we even got tattoos together. But she lives in Orlando Florida and I live in Hollywood Florida, which is about a three hour drive either way. So we assumed that she would be my maid of honor (since I don’t have a sister or a “best friend”, but now im rethinking it because she lives far away. And I know that im going to need my maid of honor to be with me doing things here and there. Any advice?
December 13th, 2007 at 12:44 am
Girl – She can totally be your maid of honor! My husband’s best man lives in Alaska, and we live in Texas, and it worked fine. If she is a good maid of honor, then she will look for ways to help you. Here are some things she can easily do when she isn’t in town.
1. Ask her to search the Internet for bridesmaid’s dress patterns and email her favorites to you
2. Chatting on msn or the phone to come up with ideas for wedding favors or centerpieces ideas
3. Having her work on small things that can be done away from you, such as wedding favors, wedding programs, what people will throw when you leave the reception, etc.
4. Ask her to plan the bachelorette party, and give her a place to host.
It is totally do-able to have her as your maid of honor! Understand there will need to be some kind of allowances made, as she probably won’t be able to come every weekend, but it shouldn’t pose any major problems for you. Just plan a few weekends where you meet up somewhere for a bridal shower, planning sessions, or working weekends! Let me know if you’re still concerned.