Wedding Help

One tradition that is another major part of many different kinds of wedding ceremonies is the use of unity candles.  However, don’t let anyone fool you, the tradition of using unity candles does not date back hundreds of years, neither is it bad luck if you choose not to use a unity candle in your wedding ceremony. Typically found in Christian weddings, unity candles have only been showing up during the past few decades, not nearly as long as some of the other wedding traditions out there, such as a white wedding dress or using wedding rings. Unity candles can be distinguished by a large candle in the middle, and two thinner candles (called tapers) on either end. If you like the idea of using a unity candle, and are looking for ways to incorporate them into your wedding ceremony, then here are some of the main ways that couples use them.

Parents Lighting the Tapers

One way that many couples choose to do their unity candle is to have their parents light the tapers during the processional. Once they are escorted down the aisle, the mothers of the bride and groom  walk up to the altar and light a taper candle in honor of their son or daughter before taking their seat. The tapers stay lit throughout the ceremony, until the bride and groom light their unity candle. The bride and groom light their unity candle, each taking the taper that their mother lit, and together they light the larger candle in the middle.

Having the Tapers Already Lit

This is the way that my husband and I choose to do our unity candle. Instead of having our mothers come up and light the candles,  we had them lit before the service started. They stayed lit throughout the whole service, and when we lit the candle, it was a symbolism of two individuals becoming one in Christ. The only problem with this is that the tapers ended up staying lit for a long time, and some of the ribbons and decorations on the tapers actually ended up getting a little bit burnt.

Other Family Members Lighting the Tapers

Since there is no set way to do unity candles, you can really get creative with it. If you’ve been married before, you can have your children light the tapers on your unity candle, or perhaps have your grandparents light the unity candle along with your mother. Or perhaps you have a particular uncle or aunt you are particularly close to, any one of these people can light the tapers.

Unity Candle Alternatives

If unity candles aren’t really your cup of tea, then there are some great alternatives to unity candles that you can do.  A sand ceremony is getting pretty popular, with couples using different colors of sand and pouring them into a vase that they can keep as a decoration later.  There are also rose ceremonies, water ceremonies, and much more.

Unity candles are a great visual example of the idea of marriage. Two individuals becoming one through marriage, with different personalities, strengths and weaknesses. If you have any comments on unity candles, be sure to write in and let me know.

Tags: sand ceremony, unity candle, unity candles, Wedding Ceremony, Wedding Traditions

One wedding tradition that seems to be an underlying theme in all weddings, no matter the religion or country, is to have some kind of a wedding prayer, or many different wedding prayers at different times during your wedding ceremony. A wedding prayer can be performed by your minister, or person performing the wedding ceremony, by a family member, or other spiritual adviser with whom you are close. There is no set number of different kinds of wedding prayer that you will be held to, I believe our wedding had three or four different prayers, including a time when my husband and I knelt at a prayer bench to pray. The different kinds of wedding prayer are meant to ask God’s blessing and His presence during the service.  Typically, there are two different times during your wedding ceremony when a prayer will be offered. To help you have some idea of the typical kinds of wedding prayer found in a wedding ceremony, here is a little guide to help you out.

The Invocation Wedding Prayer 

The invocation is the first kind of wedding prayer that will be offered. It is typically done by the minister, and is meant to “invoke” or ask God’s presence in the service. Also, it is asking the Lord to bless the service that is about to begin. Your minister should have a prayer that he typically uses for weddings, so you shouldn’t need to worry about it.  If you like, you can ask your minister what he usually says. When we sat down with our pastor to go over the order of the ceremony, he explained what he would be asking for in each prayer so that we understood how the service would flow together. It was really helpful.

The Second Wedding Prayer

So I didn’t know what to call the second wedding prayer, so I’ve aptly named it the second one. The second wedding prayer is typically done after the wedding vows and the rings have been exchanged. It is asking God’s blessing and care on the couple as they start their new lives together - and strength to make it through the hard times. This prayer can be done by the minister, or by a family member or person close to the bride and groom.

Other Wedding Prayers

There are several places you can insert other wedding prayers into your wedding ceremony. As I mentioned before, my husband and I had a prayer bench where we knelt to pray after the unity candle.  Also, we had a close family member come and read scripture during our wedding ceremony, and say a short sermon about marriage. Then, after he was finished speaking, he said another wedding prayer asking the Lord to bless our marriage.

A wedding prayer is an important aspect of your wedding ceremony. Not only is it a wedding tradition that has been around for generations, but a time of asking God’s blessings on your lives together in your marriage.  Hope this little guide to the different wedding prayers has helped.

Tags: invocation, Wedding Ceremony, wedding prayer, wedding prayers

I believe one of the last things I did while I was doing my wedding planning was to come up with a list of wedding ceremony songs that I wanted to use. This isn’t because it wasn’t very important to me, or that I had forgotten about it until the last minute, I just didn’t know much about the songs typically played in weddings, and I was sure which songs I wanted to have sung as specials during the wedding either. I believe I literally met with the pianist and the couple doing the specials probably about two days before the wedding to go over the wedding ceremony songs that I wanted. If you are working on picking out your wedding ceremony songs and need some help, then here are the main times in your wedding ceremony that you’ll need to have wedding ceremony songs picked out for, and what I did for each area.

Wedding Ceremony Songs for the Guest’s Entrance

About half an hour before the wedding ceremony was to begin, we asked the pianist to play wedding ceremony songs that were classic love songs, such as “You are so Beautiful”, and “The Way You Look Tonight”. I didn’t go through with her to pick out every one of those wedding ceremony songs because if you think about it, there are a lot of songs that fit into a thirty minute time frame. So I gave her some of my favorites, and she played those plus others that were well liked as well.

Wedding Ceremony Songs for the Seating of the Parents and Grandparents

After all the guests are seated and it is time for the wedding ceremony to begin, you’ll want to have a noticeable silence, and then head into the wedding ceremony song you have chosen for the seating of the parents and the grandparents. The reason for the silence, and then the song is to let the guests know that the wedding ceremony has begun. There are lots of great wedding ceremony songs for this, and I chose to use “On Wings of Song” by Felix Mendelssohn. It’s beautiful. This song was also re-played while my husband and I lit the unity candle and prayed together on a prayer bench we had set up.

Wedding Ceremony Songs for the Processional

Once the parents and grandparents are seated, then you will want to have a wedding ceremony song chosen for the entrance of the groom and his groomsmen, and the bridesmaids. Perhaps the most popular wedding ceremony song for a processional is the “Canon in D” by Johann Pacuelbel, which is what we used as well. It’s a classic.

Wedding Ceremony Songs for the Entrance of the Bride

Now, typically most brides want to enter in to the Bridal Chorus, which is the traditional music brides walk down the aisle to. There are many couples I know though, who prefer to walk the aisle to another song, such as “Someday my Prince will Come”, or other such songs, and there is nothing wrong with it. The same goes for the recessional. You can go with the traditional “Wedding March” like I did, or choose your own song.

Wedding Ceremony Songs for Specials

One thing I really wanted to have in our wedding ceremony were specials sung by friends of mine in the church. They sing beautifully together, and they had a CD written and performed by friends of theirs that were Christian love songs, beautiful and one of a kind. I listened to the CD, and then asked them to perform my favorite songs. So we had two specials in our wedding ceremony, to the songs of “I Delighted in the Lord (and He gave me you)”, and “With all my Heart”.

Going through the list of wedding ceremony songs to use for your wedding can be daunting, because there are a lot of them out there. Luckily, I had a pianist who was excellent and knowledgeable about what kinds of songs are typically used in weddings, and she could play all of them, and friends who also knew a lot about music, and had the patience to go through and play all of the different wedding ceremony songs for me. Your wedding ceremony songs really help to set the mood for your wedding ceremony, and I was so thankful to have such great help with that.

Tags: Wedding Ceremony, wedding ceremony music, wedding ceremony songs

Your wedding ceremony program is most likely one of the last things you will create when doing your wedding planning. In fact, I believe mine were done two days before the wedding took place, and we had them printed the day before. For my sister’s wedding, most of them were printed the morning before the wedding ceremony took place. One reason they are done so late is that the brides are not often able to get the order of the ceremony straight with the pastor or person performing the ceremony, as well as the people taking care of the wedding ceremony music. However, once you have these completed, you can start creating a wedding ceremony program for your wedding. Your wedding ceremony program can be as detailed or as simple as you like, and there are a few software programs that can help you out in creating your wedding ceremony program, such as Microsoft Publisher, or something like it. Once you are creating your wedding ceremony program, here are some things you want to make sure to include.

Introduce the Players

One thing you should have in your wedding ceremony program is a list of everyone who is playing a part in your wedding ceremony. For example, the person performing the ceremony, the bridal party, flower girls or ring bearer if you are having children in your wedding, and the person or people taking care of the wedding music. If you like, you can also include the names of the bride and groom’s grandparents and parents as well, giving them a special honor. Your wedding ceremony program should give honor where honor is due.

Give the Itinerary

Your wedding ceremony program should tell your guests what they should expect. Therefore, in your wedding ceremony program you’ll need to list at the very least a basic order of what will be occurring. Start off with something like, the seating of the grandparents and parents to the entrance of the bride. Any scripture readings, special speeches or stories and prayers designated to family or friends should also be mentioned in your wedding ceremony program.

Tell Them What’s Playing

Another thing you may want to consider putting in your wedding ceremony program is the different songs and selections that will be played during the wedding ceremony. This includes the songs that will be played when you enter the ceremony, as well as any special songs that you have planned. Due to some copyright laws, you may need to also list the composer or writers of the songs listed.

As I stated before, your wedding ceremony program can be as simple or as long and detailed as you would like for it to be. Many couples choose not to have a wedding ceremony program, but if this is something that you would like to have as a part of your wedding ceremony, just don’t let it turn into a huge stress on you to accomplish.

Tags: Wedding Ceremony, wedding ceremony program, wedding program

Believe it or not, the best man does actually have duties, duties for which he is socially responsible. Granted, the list of responsibilities are nothing like the list for the maid of honor, but nevertheless you should make sure that your groom and best man for the ceremony are aware of what they are responsible for. Now, as I’m sure you know, every wedding is different and therefore your best man’s duties may be more or less complicated than this list depending on the circumstances. But here is a list of responsibilities in which the best man is in charge of handling. To help make it easier, I’ve identified three major weddings where the best man needs to step it up and get the job done: before, during and after the wedding ceremony and reception.

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Tags: best man, maid of honor, wedding, Wedding Ceremony, Wedding Reception